I have two days that I'm looking down the barrel at, and they are both going to take a piece away from me.

The first is the day I'll have to say goodbye to my Leena. I've been counting down now for about a month, and at best I have 40 days left with her. Every night and every morning I try to explain, but she can't understand what I'm saying. She just looks at me with love, and my heart breaks.

Second, I have to walk away from this house. My "family" and I had many good, many great, and many bad times here. It represents but a single moment in my life, and a fleeting one at that. However, it was a time of growth, a time of love, and will never be forgotten, but hopefully forgiven.

I've been crying most of today, as the reality of my loss hit me harder than most other days. I'm comforted simply by my idea of a future, one of the same success my past has seen. If I can deviate from past ambitions, and settle into a modest existence, I might have a chance. It is my drive, maybe even greed, that drove my stress, which fueled my ambition.

Sorry to get so poetic, it's how my mind works. I am excited, and proud of my move. Truth be told, I can't wait to get there, but it's what has to happen between now & then that is so crushing........

What's the saying? Nothing ventured, nothing gained? We'll see, says the zen master...